You’ve said YES! Congratulations, you’re engaged! But what comes next? There’s a whole lot of work, planning and choices that come between popping the question and the wedding. Here’s my advice for Bay Area couples on what to do after getting engaged.
1.) Take a breath! Revel in the moment! There’s no need to rush just yet. Be sure to enjoy the thrill and the bliss that comes with this spectacular decision. Don’t rush. Savor this chapter of being an engaged couple. You’ll have plenty of time to immerse yourself in planning and arrangements.
2.) Start sharing with friends and family. In a perfect world, we could all just make a simple Facebook post and BAM! Everyone would know! But it is much more tactful and important to announce the news to closest friends and immediate family or other influential in person or by phone. Enjoy the reveal in private with these special persons before sharing with the world. Then go ahead and share that snap of the ring on social media.
3.) Set a timeline - set a date. The average engagement is about a year and a half and a whole lot happens in between. The first question you’ll hear when news has spread is “When are you getting married?” It will be difficult to answer that question when you may not have decided on a venue or budget. Determining a good approximate time will be the first step. Think of working around birthdays, holidays, weather, or other events of significance. Being on the witchy side I also like to consider astrological happenings like the solstice/equinox, the moon phases, and significant transits in my personal chart.
4.) Set a total budget. This is an imperative part of the early planning process. Within the scope of the overall budget, you can prioritize non-negotiable vendors, guest count, or other aspects of the day. Then, you may focus on your balance- ie, would you rather have the more expensive dress or the more ornate venue? Will this be a larger event or a more intimate celebration? Start with your top three spending priorities and fill in the remaining details to scale.
5.) Day dream and brainstorm. What kind of wedding do you want? Will your celebration be a single day event, or a multi-day event? Indoor or outdoor? What locations best represent you and your values as a couple? What local vendors are on your wavelength and representing clients that feel like you?
6.) Make the journey of wedding planning a series of dates to connect with your partner and share time together. This is a journey of creating your lives together, from rings you’ll wear forever to the memories you’ll make doing activities with your guests. The more you are intentional about using this time for connection, the sweeter the memories of this moment will be.
7.) Bridal magazines or sites like the Knot or Junebug weddings are great places to start crafting the visuals for your wedding day. Google other wedding-related blogs. Websites like Pinterest are excellent for this kind of thing - on Pinterest you can plug in any keywords for inspiration (such as “shabby chic wedding decor ideas”) and start viewing thousands of images to trigger your vision. You can save these images to boards organized by category for easy reference. Lover.ly is another great resource - Lover.ly a visual search engine similar to Pinterest, but also includes links to vendors who helped create that image.
8.) Search for wedding galleries that took place at the venue where you’ll be getting married to find experienced vendors who know the ropes at your venue. You’re sure to uncover the right vibe for your wedding and some regional nuances you might not have thought of by working with local vendors.
9.) Remember that you re creating your wedding for YOU TWO and not other people. This is a choice you’ll need to band together on when outside forces have differing opinions. Have ample boundaries and have each other’s backs.
10.) Don’t forget to book your engagement session with the wedding photographer you book, or that you hope to book for your wedding. This is a beautiful way to connect with each other in this special moment on your journey, plus it will give you photos to use on your website and social media pages to hype up your guests and build up the energy leading to your wedding day. For your engagement session, my recommendation is to choose a location that really encapsulates you two as a couple. This can be a place you two go regularly, where you had your first date, your home, a special park in your neighborhood where you two have coffee, the place where you got engaged, or another memorable moment that is authentic to the two of you. This will make the photos a truly treasured keepsake and more than just a pretty picture in a popular location.
